I stopped taking my birth control for many reasons...

-I dont eat enough so it was really hard to eat before taking it and I would always feel really sick if i didnt eat enough food i just never had an appetite...

- I didnt know if I had health insurance or not, I just moved back into California and I didnt know if I was on my moms health plan or not..

- I had ran out of my current birth control and I was waiting on my mom to get me into the doctor to get prescribed more pills and I ended up going to plan parenthood- (thank the lord for them. I got the type of birth control prescribed by my obgyn. )

-also bf and i dont really have a lot of sex, maybe like once a week or every 2 weeks (we’ve been together for a year and a half, have been living basically together ever since we started dating, we were friends before we started dating, also said i love you before we were even at the “talking stage” of our relationship) we do have unprotected sex, and sounds bad to say but he sometimes finishes in me

BUT I ran out in either August or September and I had some left over but didnt bother taking them since I was already out of pill packs.

I missed my period in October, it wasnt till this November that I got my period (i had done some blow) I usually get my period on the 25th and I had gotten it on the 12th.. but I had been under a huge amount of stress and when I got my period one morning,

I had large clumps of blood come out when I wiped, and it was kind of clear/skin looking, it was kind of a larger amount when being compared to a blood clot coming out but it was definitely alarming, definitely larger than blot clots.. the blood was definitely patchy and it ranged from dark red to a porcelain skin tone-ish but the porcelain color wasnt a lot.

my boyfriend and i were having issues around the time i got my period, he said i started acting and treating him different. I was acting different for atleast 3 weeks and thats when he actually started to take note.. and we had issues just shortly after getting my period and i kind of mentioned thinking i had a miscarriage,

Like my boobs fit into my D vs bra and ive lost so much weight that i am not used to wearing my larger bras.. i am usually a bigger B cup/small C cup.. my boobs do get bigger when getting on my period but not like changing cup sizes an alarming amount.

But today is 11/20/17 and ive cried a lot, recently. I still cry over the rough patches with my boyfriend, and hes trying to make up for it but I really feel lost and weird after such a weird thing, i feel something so different and just so confused

my boyfriend and i have also talked about having kids, before this happened we just decided we’d adopt kids in the future, but now we would like to eventually have one of our own kids, im extremely good with kids and him, not so much.

My whole perspective on pro-life/pro-choice has changed... I really dont know if i had a miscarriage or not. Im hoping to get some closure to be able to try and atleast cope with my emotions.