I was being used š
I wanted to ask you guys how do you deal with someone (in my case a guy) that you feel like is using you.
So my situation goes like this...
I have this friend Iāve known and met him since freshmen year of college and we had classes together since then. In general, I think Iām a very patient person and like to be nice to everyone and especially am loyalty when it comes to my friends. So me and this guy (weāll call him Rob) would always exchange notes and old exams things like that with each other and I always tried to help him out whenever I could. also forgot to mention I do lowkey had a crush and like him and we would sometimes get flirty but he always sent mixed signals. So anyways, sophomore year comes along and weāre both in the same Orgo class. Of course, he hits me up and starts asking me for āhelpā by giving him answers to homework etc. but then exam is coming up while I have been working hard and studying a lot he would not he would never go to class make me answer questions for him in class so that heād get attendance for it, made me do his lab assignment and online homeworkās for him (and yes Ik I was dumb enough to do it for him) and when exam time rolls around he asks if he can cheat off me and of course I let him. Of course I just thought this would be a one time thing but no, this whole cycle repeated for the 2nd, 3rd, and even the final. I even spent hours with him tutoring and teaching him the concepts, going to class for him, doing his assignments on top of my assignments (mind u I was taking 19 credits that semester). I was working my ass off and beyond stressed and after finals was over I told him that he obviously owed me big time and heās like āof course thank you youāre such a saint you saved my life (blah blah blah)āš... and he still hadnāt replayed me for that. Winter break comes and he barely talks to me maybe had a few small conversations here and there, spring semester we also didnāt have classes together and I asked him to hang out never worked out and one time he said okay but when I got ready he didnāt answer and next morning said āhe got really drunk w friendsā (wasnāt too upset about it bc I made backup plans since I knew that was gonna happen lol) after that we have a few small conversations here and there but never really hits me up unless he needs something.
Fast forward to this semester Iām a junior and heās a senior weāre both taking almost every class together and hereās how itās been so far...
So sometimes we have in class assignments and in the beginning I would go for him and asked him that if I was sick or something then he could go for me he agreed.. well guess what really happened Iāve been to almost every single lecture did every in class assignment for him when I was sick or just couldnāt make it and I would text him heād say some shitty excuse and say he couldnāt make it. Iāve been going to class all this time taking notes he always asks for them when exam time rolls around and asks for my lab reports and he made me write 3 of his papers so far. I had 5 exams coming up and I remember asking him if he could write my assignment for me and he fell asleep and I had to turn it in late and didnāt do the rest. I asked him if he could sit next to me on the exam and I came a little late he let some other girl take the seat and didnāt even save a seat for me or didnāt even move to where I was sitting but for the second exam when that girl asked to sit next to him he moved the seat for her which just shows how he thinks of me. Even though I go to class and study on top of doing both of our work he gets Aās while I have been getting Bās and Cās and now I realize that something needs to be done bc it is affecting my grades now and I want to go off to dental school so my grades matter but he isnāt even going to dental school.
Thereās a lot more details to this but itās already getting super long so thatās pretty much the gist of it. I know Iām dumb and Iām stupid and that itās all my fault I donāt deny that because I was the one that let it happen. I really liked him even if we are just friends and I was really dumb for letting it get this far. I guess itās just that it had been a long time since I liked someone the way I liked him in a long time and I never had a boyfriend before so I guess thatās why I was being crazy and willing to do all this stuff for him. I have a lot of patience but he has really been pushing his limits and enough is enough. Iām on break right now for thanksgiving and we have an exam right when we come back and I know heās gonna want my notes and whatever. My plan is to ignore him and not do anything for him now on and tell him that I need to speak to him in person bc I think he needs to see what he has put me through and how what heās been doing is fucked up... Is that a good idea? What do u guys think I should do? If youāve been through anything similar please please let me know this has been bothering me so so much I canāt stop crying this past few days this is such a bad feeling to make someone go through when all I had were pure intentions to help š
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