mom of 4 sons and 1 angel

Kirsten

My levels not got above 100. I started bleeding the day after I got my positive test. my levels went from 42 to 38 two days later. Then up to 87 after another 4 days. Ive been taking home pregnancy tests and they have never gotten dark. Some are lighter and then some seem to be getting darker. I went back to my OB yesterday and my beta dropped back to 42. I'd be 6.5 weeks today.

I have 4 sons ages 7, 5, 3 and 1.

I am so torn right now. I feel like I'm grieving in so many areas. I'm grieving the loss of this baby. I'm grieving the fact that I feel like I don't want to do this again, I don't want to try again. I'm grieving the idea of not having anymore babies and I'm grieving the idea of never having my girl.

Did you try again? How long did you wait? How long did it take for your levels to go all the way down? help?!

I'm posting my last 3 tests. Top is Sunday night, then Monday morning and then Monday night.