Hi everyone, so just this past Wednesday I found out I was pregnant. Took 7 home tests (yeah I'm paranoid) and then blood test the next day. Pregnant! Then two days later I decided to retest because I thought it would be fun to see the line get darker. It was negative. And so was the next. And the next. And finally the test at the clinic was negative as well. I found out on my 29th birthday yesterday that I had definitely miscarried. It was the worst day of my life and today has been no better, only I no longer had to wake up wondering.

I am absolutely heartbroken and devastated. Even though I only knew I was pregnant for four days, I had wanted this for so long and I already loved my baby so much. I now feel lower than ever. I can't stop crying and every little thing is a trigger. It's definitely something I would not have understood had it not happened to me. And people telling me that it's very common; that it means I can get pregnant easily (we had only been TTC for two months and I don't know how far along I was); that I will get pregnant again, none of it truly helps. I wanted this baby so badly. Crushed. It's to the point where I cant imagine how the world goes on and I'm expected to go back to work as if nothing happened.

Day 2. Just trying to get through it. Going to continue trying to conceive again right away. I'm terrified it will happen again. 😫

Thinking of you all always. Knowing I'm not alone is a comfort. 💔