Why, why, why??

Question

Everybody always says to get the guy checked before putting your body through stuff just to have the issue be with him. I got a referral from my Gyno for my husband to get a sperm analysis thing. They checked him and said they didn't find any sperm from that sample. So that gave us a Urologist and to start investigating further. They checked his blood levels and a whole bunch of other things. They checked to see if it was a blockage. They also did this procedure where they stick a needle in 10 times in each ball and took samples and got nothing from that. Basically they told us our last resorts are either a $5,000 procedure in him with a 20% chance of finding anything, sperm donor, or adoption. I have given my husband time to cope with it and now we have decided on possibly going the sperm donor route. I just don't understand. When people want to have kids so bad have issues like this but then everybody around you is getting pregnant when they don't expect to or want to at the moment. I'm just frustrated but would love to have a baby so bad!! Has anybody else gone through this and done the sperm donor route? How did you go about it and was it difficult for your spouse as you were going through this process knowing it wasn't biologically theirs?

Answer

I get you .. we are just entering into testing. I am s midwife and I hand a baby over to other parents every day I work. It’s simple isn’t it ... apparently ... just seems to be for everyone else. 
Every woman I look after says .. “how many children do I have”. Over the years I have change in how I respond to this; now I say that I haven’t been blessed yet!!! Waiting for that day 💕

Answer

Yes, my husband  has klinefelters and has a 0 count. It took us awhile but we ended up going the donor route as it made the most sense. My husband is very happy with the decision and in the end, the genetics don't really matter as it is and only ever will be you and your husband's baby. After 5 years of trying and 6IUI we are now due with our first from donor on July 3rd. It wasn't an easy choice to go with a donor but it made sense in the end.

Answer

We have had the exact same scenario and from looking at statistics online it’s a 1% chance! I haven’t found many people in the same boat as us on this app… We had a call back with a result of zero on his analysis back on April 13 and then again on April 20 he went to a urologist and had ultrasounds done and bloodwork. There were no blockage findings and hormonally all was normal! He had a TESE micro dissection done 9/29. Apparently they don’t need actual sperm just sperm cells to create an embryo. Unfortunately later that same day we got a call that there weren’t any cells. It’s been a rough road! Getting information on how to go about using a known donor (family member) Has been mind blowing! I get conflicting information from the doctors office every time I call which is why I have an appointment with my doctor on December 6 to talk face-to-face. My husband doesn’t want to use an anonymous donor (which would be quicker, cheaper and all around less stressful). I understand he wants to feel genetically connected and I am OK with that... But every so often he comes out with how this is happening to him and how he can’t have kids when that’s not how I feel at all I feel like we can’t have a child and this is happening to us… I am trying to be understanding and not my usual type a I want to fix this ASAP let’s do XYz self! We told some family members including our moms and his dad and our sisters and the comments about how bad his mom feels for him have me very annoyed .. I am trying not to be that person .. he slept at his mothers last night to help prepare for Thanksgiving and I watched the TV show this is us big big mistake sob fest but I needed it!

Answer

Same boat here! My husband’s initial count after his first SA was 0!  They did a testicular biopsy to find only one of his testicles was producing, and at low amounts.  He went on clomid for 3 months, had another SA, and his count was “low”. He was placed on more clomid, and has another SA 12/12.  Total of about 8 months on Clomid so far.  
I have an OB appointment on 12/12 to talk about IUI. We have began looking into sperm donors in case his remains low.  We’re unsure of motility, which is another factor.

Answer

I'm so so sorry ladies. We have male factor infertility but we do have Sperm. We have five large varicoceles on his left side causing low count, low motility and low quality removed a few weeks ago. Anyways I wish you all my love and the best guidance to create your family. We have been trying almost 14 months and life really is just plain unfair at times. My heart hurts with each easy conception others have. This world we infertility ladies are in is so silent and taboo I feel. One day I pray to god I can share our story and educate others on how not everyone has it as easy and to be kind in the words you choose. All my love!! This is second holiday season wishing for a baby. Maybe next year. I'm trying to remember life right now with my husband is good still. It's quite, it's simple and we have money and zero cares or stress. Trying to embrace what we have. You can't rush something you want to last forever. So if that means waiting for the right strong fast healthy Sperm and egg then I guess I gotta pull through ❤️

Answer

Hi Heather, I'm so sorry to hear this. I am in a very similar boat. My husband just had a semen analysis and his results came back showing no sperm😔 We are not sure of the reason yet, as his sample was being sent for further testing. We did make an appointment with the urologist mid December and also have an appointment with a fertility specialist beginning of December. It has all been such a shock and my husband is devastated. I completely understand how you feel about others getting pregnant, it's so unfair. I ask myself "why us?" but I have to keep my faith that a baby of our own is in God's plan for us. Hang in there and know that you are not alone. Sending prayers and hugs your way!

Why, why, why??

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