I need some help concerning my bf. We're at least an hour away from each other at best and when he's home for school breaks, he's three hours away. I'm his first girlfriend and I was his first kiss and he's never really had experience concerning girls so he's kind of clueless. So he's pretty bad at communicating and when he does he's super honest even if it is just one word answers. Last week I kind of had a meltdown about how I think he's not into me as much and how I think I'm doing most of the work (I always drive the hour to him, he hardly comes to me), and how he doesn't open up to me at all and that makes me feel like I shouldn't open up to him.

Anyway so I explained that to him and he basically just said 'okay' and gave me cuddles and kisses and that was it and I felt fine after that.

But now, yesterday, the same feeling came back with more intensity- only this time I feel like he's growing tired by me, that I bother him whenever I try talking to him and that I don't deserve to express my feelings when he doesn't express his (I give him plenty of opportunities to but he says he's not super emotional which seems pretty honest since he's kind of stoic.

Anyway so he's home for the holidays and hasn't really talked to me for the past two days and usually we video chat every night but everytime I text him to ask him if he wants to video chat, he says 'can't rn' and we don't talk for the rest of the day/night. So I feel like when he's home I don't have a place in his life. Which I get that he's with family but he doesn't even live in the same house as them so I know there's gotta be some time where he can talk to me.

I'm a whole mess of emotions and I feel like I can't bring this up to him bc it's not fair to him. Also petty me wants him to ask me what's wrong instead of explain it but he's either clueless or doesn't care. (Btw there's no questions of him cheating on me or lying to me bc he's pretty faithful when he commits)

I'm sorry this is so long but if anyone could help I would really appreciate it. I really want this relationship to work out bc we love each other, but I can't seem to get to a place where he makes me feel like I deserve to express and discuss my emotions no matter how unfair they may be. I just want to talk to him but he won't talk to me or maybe he's just not good at it, and I don't wanna bother him with petty and selfish feelings.