Trying my best for peace and patience

Well rewind to oct 2016, figured a handful of try's and I would be pregnant but nope! Many tests later it's finally figured out and kicker is my husband has five large varicoceles-they just got removed by our fertility urologist thankfully. It takes usually another 3-6 months to see changes. He's also on clomid! So we still have a ways to go. Social media, friends, co workers, babies are everywhere. I try to say this is gods plan and perhaps we think we are or were ready but maybe he knows best and he will pick the time. It's like starting over now once his Sperm hopefully get back to their optimal prime state, shoot trying so hard and basically Sperm were never even getting close to any egg it seems. And we all know even healthy couples can take a year to conceive so I'm banking on a still long road. We have been together ten years and married 1.5 years. I will be 29 in February. Maybe I will get a gift and have a pregnancy to share my 30th with. One day I hope to share our story on social Media to educate others and to show how cherished and longed for our baby was. Our baby must be extra special!----I hope! I try daily to think of all the things we get to do being kid free to help me cope. Easy nights, sleep, trips, money, dinner dates, bubble baths, two cat children, peace and quite, vulgar rap music in the car 🤣, freedom, no stress, finishing our home remodel.....we also just planned our two year anniversary trip. I HAVE to let it go guys I'm too tired now to keep going like I have. I'm praying 2018 brings me peace and patience and maybe a positive when I least expect it. I never knew this would be our road. My husband didn't ask for this either. Thanks for reading and keep the good faith guys ❤️