Dating in your 40s, well really at any age!

Dating in your 40's, well dating at any age for that matter, the most important rule.....

DO NOT LIE.....

We live in a world where information is readily available. People have profiles on Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Reddit, LinkedIn.....

You can find out anything if you look, and it's not even that hard.

When we meet people it's best to be honest about who you are and what you want from the beginning. Now I'm not saying you need to tell someone EVERYTHING on day one, that would leave future dates boring as hell, however starting out will any lies or mis-truths will clearly end badly for all involved.

For instance it’s best not to tell someone you are single and looking for a serious relationship when in fact you've been involved with a woman for 2 years....YES, this has happened to me. It's never fair to mislead ANYONE.....NOT EVER. Everyone has the right to choose what kind of relationship they want to be in. When you start a relationship with someone even if it's casual, you should be upfront. If you're openly dating different people just say something like, you're keeping your options open until you meet someone you're really interested in. If you're not sure what you're looking for, say that. If you're looking for a polymorous/non monogamy relationship be truthful about it. If you're married and looking for discreet encounters, be open about it. Now I'm not judging anyone here, we are a society filled with millions of people looking for all types of relationships. Whatever your wants, needs and desires, can be met by someone out there.

It is better to start things out with honesty, otherwise EVERYTHING that happens during the course of the relationship is based on a lie. That is not fair to anyone involved.

Ok moving on....let me simplify things, these may seem harmless little lies but they definitely are not.....

NEVER put lies in your online dating profile....again starting off with lies never ends well, I mean I know it may sound silly but if you're trying to start off on the right foot, be honest about who you are! If you are 5'6 1/4 DO NOT put down you're 5'7 even if you normally wear shoes with lifts in them, you're still not going to be 5'7......eventually you may be walking around each other barefoot, at least that's the hope. I know this may sound silly and I know people are trying to make themselves look and sound more appealing, but it only makes you sound insecure about who you really are. As my guy best friend puts it, if you under deliver on who you are, you'll wind up looking like an Adonis! YES, we do live in a superficial world.....and people are in fact scrolling or swiping on match, zoosk, bumble and tinder to find someone that they find appealing, so of course EVERYONE is putting their best qualities out there however misrepresenting yourself will ultimately end badly. This applies to women as well, stop editing or filtering your photos. You're setting yourself up for disaster! I know many men who have walked out of dates because a woman pictures clearly DO NOT match the person standing before them, or they were taken 10 years prior. We all change as we get older and yes we want to portray the best image of ourselves, however I don't want to see what you looked like 5, 10 or 15 years ago, people want to see what you look like now! Be proud of who you are and what you have to offer, that's shows confidence and there is nothing more appealing then that!

I know it may seems silly to some or even ridiculous that these are things that have to be said. As a society we want to believe people are honest. If you're lying or misleading about the little things, how can you be trusted with the important things. I know for me it's the only way, and if you're unsure if who you are or what you want, figure that out first before trying to get involved with someone. You should be upfront about everything from day 1. You will find that it's more rewarding to be honest from go.