:( Crushie issues 😢

First of all I'm 25 so I can still say Crushie 😢

Here's my issue. I have a realllllllly nice coworker and I realllllllly have a huge crush on him even though I try to act like he doesn't exist and even though we don't see each other every five minutes, when he does see me he literally picks at me 😆😆. I also notice things about him that I'm not sure he's aware that I know. Like he doesn't talk to any other woman like how he talks to me. It's like he's my sarcasm match made in heaven 😢. And he always gets nervous before a big meeting or speech and he always likes to hug me. But I'm scared to hug him back or flirt back and he always wants me to smile for him and gets jealous when I do it for others 😳😳 I also have a fear of really falling for him and I believe it's because of a prior relationship from like 2012-2013. The fool and I were dating, so i thought, and he out of the blue admits that the guys took a bet to see who would be first to date me. He was my coworker and what he did hurt but I'm not sure if he cared or not. I'm pretty much over it now (btw he's in jail. Karma) but I feel like that will always keep me from wanting to be with someone. Any advice? 🙁🙁