Want More out of life

At first it was all fun since it was something I've never done before.. Smoking weed chilling and forgetting about reality and laughing and being stupid.. but now that I'm pregnant with my 3rd child. I hate the smell of weed with a passion and I want so much more I want the nice house nice car and loyal and faithful friends the happy marriage with thw good behaved kids.. Hard work is What a it is gonna take to get there my kids deserve the best but I also want to be that mom that is able to be in her kids life and not always too busy for them.. just in my feelings and needed to vent.. I know things are gonna get better because I desire better..