Mixed Emotions

So went for my 40 week check up....Last week he was 8lbs 2oz and I was 0 dilated. We were hoping he was under 9lbs and for alittle dilation. Well he was around 9lbs 2oz....still 0 dilation and they said it could be off a pound....so maybe 8lbs but doc was thinking more like 10lbs. So we are scheduled for a csection Thur morning. I am excited that he will be here in 2 days but disappointed that I won't be in labor or pushing. It's just what I pictured and researched and am in some way feeling like I am taking the easy way out and like I won't bond as much. I know that's all crazy but it's how I feel. I know it'll all be what it is and I'll have my baby soon, just feeling surreal and in shock!