This time last year I was suffering from a huge loss.

The baby I had prayed so hard for was being taken from me. Completely out of my control.

The feeling of utter heartbreak took over my whole body. I was destroyed! I remember being SO mad at God. Not sure why he would ever allow something like this to happen... eventually after some self care and support from my very loving husband I realized that God had his plan and he knew what was coming for Trevor and I. All I needed was to keep the faith. 🙏🏼

The next month I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try again I didn’t think I could handle another loss because I thought at this point that I was broken... 💔

that’s the terrible part no one talks about... this happens to SO many women, BUT when it happens to you, you feel alone and like you did something wrong. When that is not the case at all.

The next month, a few days before Christmas, against everything I had said... I tested again... early. There was this... basically invisible line. I got mad at myself I told myself I wouldn’t test this early, I didn’t want to get my hopes up just to be let down again. But I tested again the next day and again the next. And there it said it on that little digital screen “Pregnant”! I was in disbelief. I was so excited but couldn’t allow myself to feel the joy for fear of what may happen again. For this reason I didn’t tell Trevor until Christmas morning. I wrapped it up in some tissue paper and wrote him a card and put it in a gift bag for him to open last. 💝

I kept the faith that this is what God wanted for us, and now a year later we have been blessed with the most amazing baby squish! I can’t imagine my life without her. If it wasn’t for the first loss I never would have met her and even though it’s hard sometimes to find the good in a terrible situation, this is proof that it does exist. She was the answer to a prayer. God’s way of telling us, “I got you.”

Iverlie Marie is my miracle, the rainbow ⛈🌈 after the storm. My absolute love. 💛