So just a small background into my husband(I don’t know what to call him anymore) and I have been together for 8 years, starting dating right after high school. I got pregnant a couple of months after we started dating. So basically we rushed everything. We eventually got married in 2014. Well things started going bad. We both cheated, we never forgave each other but we decided to work it out because well I ended up pregnant(his children & yes I know that for sure) well it’s been 2.5 years that we’ve been working on it, I thought things were going great, our sex life got better, the way we communicated got better, everything seemed to be falling into place. I was wrong.

Just this weekend, he went to a friends house, and I didn’t mind staying home with the kids since they were asleep and I was tired. He finally comes home around 5 in the morning, I was pissed because he left his friends house at 1. I’m texting him asking if he was okay, where he was at and never got nothing back. When he did come home he was pissed and upset about something and I’m like here we go 🙄 so after a million times of asking and getting upset he wants to have a talk. Says he thinks I’m cheating again because one day I was sleeping and he was texting me and I replied to one saying “lol I can’t I’ve already missed a lot” I was either dreaming or just thinking about not going to work. And well he thought it was suppose to go to someone else. Mind you, I don’t have Facebook, Snapchat, no social media and no friends but he’s the one with all that. Well he tells me he’s done getting played like a fool and he doesn’t want to pretend like we’re a happy family, he just doesn’t want us to be together. He says “I’m not telling you to leave in a couple of days, I’m going to help you with whatever you need, I’m not going to let the mother of my children be helpless, what do you need to get on your feet?!” I was speechless I didn’t know what to say so I just broke down and cried, I wasted my time trying and trying kept myself from the world to hear this shit. I get it it was probably coming we both cheated but couldn’t he have just left me when I wasn’t pregnant again, before the twins were born. I’m currently pregnant with our 4th and now he wants me to leave!! He doesn’t want to do this!! Do you know how many times I’ve thought about him cheating when he doesn’t pick up the phone or when we argue he brings up what I did (he thinks him cheating is obviously nothing), how many times I wanted to give up and not do this!!!? But I stayed and kept trying to fix our marriage.

Now I’m just stuck, I don’t have a car, I don’t have a great job(I work from home at $9/hr), I guess I can live with my mom but all she’s going to do is bitch and complain. Section 8 is the only possible idea I can do, having 4 children, and not a stable job. But I don’t want that because I work hard and I’m already living on government assistance(food stamps) and I already getting ugly faces, dumbass comments and I would have to put up with that more. I just don’t know what to do, im confused and I haven’t felt this alone in a long time 😭😭 help