It sounds awful. Especially when we finally decided (both, really (I had wanted to for awhile)) to start trying for a second baby. My son is now almost two (twenty months) and I wanted them about two years apart. Took us nine months to conceive. Needless to say I was getting very discouraged, and intended to take a break the same month we actually got pregnant. I was so excited, my boy was finally gonna be a big brother, and I was gonna get the joy of being pregnant again.

So. Fucking. Wrong.

I am twelve weeks and four days, and so done being pregnant. I still want this baby, don't get me wrong. But I am not getting to enjoy my pregnancy at all this time. Bleeding from a UTI that ended us in the ER and being sent home with a threatened abortion, baby turned out fine, then more bleeding from a sub chorionic hemorrhage. Both incidents I have been put on bed and pelvic rest. Which does not work with my crazy life, my rambunctious two year old, a very special needs puppy, and my husband being gone a lot due to work driving a semi. Oh, not to mention SEVERE morning sickness. Like throwing up two or three times a day, not eating, lost like eleven pounds, just miserable. My house is a mess because I cannot physically take care of it and I'm too prideful to ask for help, I'm so tired and miserable from throwing up constantly, not sleeping or being able to eat. I just want my baby at this point. I hate that I can't sit here and be blissfully happy because of the miracle growing inside me again. But this shit frikken sucks and is really hard and all I ever wanna do or have the energy for is cry my eyes out and lay in bed.

I feel like a shit mom to my two year old, I feel like a shit incubator to my little JuneBug, I feel like a shit wife to my husband because he's been pampered by me usually keeping the house so clean and food cooked and everything done, and I feel like a shit family member or whatever-in-law because I physically can't go see people because I'm always sick.

June 16th (roughly) cannot come soon enough.