Hi All,

So my it and I have only been together about three months. It’s gone by very quickly and things seem to be going really well, except for one thing... we both have insecurities about cheating. He dated a girl for a few years and found out his best friend had been screwing her behind his back or their entire relationship. I’ve had more short term relationships in which the guy cheated on me and I left. So we both struggle. Two weekends ago, I showed him a video on my phone and I left it with him to let him watch it. When I came back, i noticed my messages had been checked. He didn’t say anything so I called him out on it. He apologized and said he felt like garbage about wanting to know but he’d seen several messages come through my phone from some of my guy friends (he doesn’t know them as they are friends from several years ago and I never see them in person) and he had an old nagging feeling come back. When he realized he had nothing to be concerned about, he felt awful, he said.

Now, on the flip side, he tends to be a little stiff with his phone and letting me look at it. I’m considering offering a trade of passwords of our phones so that he could open mine whenever he wanted to and so could I. My hope is that it is for confidence, not snooping. Has anyone else done this or swapped passwords? Our relationship, in the span of time is so new, but it feels like I’ve known him for so long and we’ve talked about life goals together, so I feel like it could be possible to suggest password exchange. What do you guys think, or recommend? Any suggestions on asking about it or bringing it up?