Depressed

Feeling like I’m losing hope. Since coming of of the IUD my cycle has been irregular. I’ve been doing everything I could think of including vitamins, laying with my legs above my head, tracking OV with opk, and even using a diva cup to hold the semen closer to my cervix. I feel like my body is failing me. I have an 8 year old son and conceived him after one month of being off the pill. I didn’t think it would be this hard and stressful. My husband wants this just as bad as me. He believes this is our month but I feel like it’s only going to end in disappointment just like every other month. AF is due in 9 days and even though I have been experiencing new symptoms I still feel like it’s just AF approaching. I know this post is depressing but I needed to get my feelings out. I cry when I see/hear of someone getting pregnant. I’m happy for everyone’s BFP but I’m ready for mine.