Dealing with sexual frustration
I love my boyfriend very, very much. We have a pretty good relationship. We argue. But we are happy.
Since day one he has never really had much of a sex drive. He wanted to wait to have sex for a while, so we did. He was very self conscious our first couple times and didn’t last that long. I am his second sexual partner and his first was a real piece of work and made him feel like garbage on purpose. When we first started having sex I was patient and kind. I helped him feel more comfortable. Within a couple months we were having great sex. Pretty regularly. I found out I was pregnant in January and we made a lot of life changes. Moved states, changed jobs, friends. Throughout pregnancy his low sex drive was very noticeable. He is not watching porn on a regular basis ( I mean he does and I usually can tell when he does, but it doesn’t appear to affect our sex life ) after our son was born we patiently waited for everything to heal and then had about three weeks of AMAZING sex. But now it seems to be back to him not needing it as much as I do. I have struggled with this our entire relationship. I feel like I need sex to feel wanted, loved, and sexy. We are very open about it. We fight about it often. Truly the only thing we DO fight about. I sometimes feel like I need to stop initiating sex because when he says no, I feel unwanted, angry, and unattractive. And I am sure that by getting angry at him it’s making him dread laying down at night, knowing I am going to be upset when rejected. I really need to find a way to deal with this both internally and by my actions. We are in a constant cycle of emotions and it’s unhealthy.
I love this man. He has been the greatest father to our son and also a wonderful father to my daughter from a previous marriage and he did not need to be.
Mainly I am curious if there are others out there who experience the same thing. If anyone can offer any advice. It’s so hard for me to feel like I am loved without having a sexual connection.