This will be long.

Ok, so, I'm either on CD40 or CD11

I had some light bleeding on dec1st, before that my lmp was nov 2. I range between 28-35 day cycles and have for the past year since removing my paragard iud. The bleeding on dec1st was too light for a tampon, no clotting, barely any cramps and only lasted for 24hrs. This is not normal for me, usually I start with a day of light bleeding and heavy cramps and then 2 or 3 days of moderate bleeding.

I've been ttc for 7months, and this month was the first time I used opks AND bbt, I thought I confirmed OV with both methods on cd16/nov17th(my temp shifted on nov18th and then I stopped temping) We ONLY bd that day 11/17, and have not had sex since (I know I know but we've both been sick and my kindergartner still sleeps with us sometimes 😩)

So when the spotting started on dec1st I thought oh well, here's my period. It wasn't until my tits started burning with the fire of a thousand suns on tues dec 5th, that I thought well shit, maybe that light bleeding wasn't a period. I never, ever, get breast pain right after a period. In fact, I've only ever experienced breast pain (not just pms tenderness) after becoming pregnant. I've been pregnant 4 times and there is no mistaking pregnancy tit, ya'll know what I mean. This pain continued and then teamed up with super twingey cramping and dizziness. By Thursday I was tearing into a fresh package of wondfos and getting my Line-Eyes ready. Shadows. On all of them. Every day for the next week. And not just on wondfos, which I know can be iffy. Shadows on FRER, dollar general, and ept.

They've not gotten any darker, some are visible to the naked eye, some clearly look like Evaps, some are not visible at all. I just don't know what to do at this point and I'm starting to feel like a lunatic.

I know the only answer is to see my DR. I just can't bring myself to call and ask for bloods because I know that in real life (meaning, not within the bubble of online pregnancy test scrutiny) the dr will tell me that I'm either too early and stop driving myself crazy, or that I'll pee on one of their shitty office tests and it will give the same result.

Last night I used an ept and got a pretty obvious +, then immediately started to feel nauseated. I figured ok, shit this is really happening. My plan was to take the other with fmu and then tell my husband.

This mornings tests show nothing again, maybe the hit of a shadow.

At this point I'm thinking maybe I had a chemical or blighted ovum. There's just no way that I could be pregnant and still not show it clearly on a hpt, right? I continue to feel like hot garbage, with cramping and burning boobs. It's so fun, I love it.

Attached are pics of wondfo shadows and ept shadows and one frer shadow. Yes, these are super squinters, the lighting isn't great but I didn't mess with any saturation etc. also, inverted lines are visible on all of these.

Opinion, thoughts or prayers are greatly appreciated. Or even just some commiseration, TTC really does a number on ones sanity.