Kicked Out at 18

Londa

So last night I just got kicked out of my house and I feel so lost and confused. I did nothing wrong. My parents are both alcoholics and we live in a low income neighborhood (south central LA). My mother has always been very mean to me. When I was a little girl, she would drink and when my father made her angry, she would take it out on me. And this has been constant over the years. A month before I started school, my father lost his job and he was the only working parent in the house. We’ve been living from paycheck to paycheck, trying to make the best with what we could. When I started college at CSUDH she kept saying that she wanted me out of her house. And the last couple of weeks I’ve been depressed, so I haven’t been talking to anyone in my house, just going to school and coming home doing my homework and lying down and sleeping. Last night, she was drinking, and my father made her angry and she once again took it out on me and it ended with her kicking me out the house. I fell lost and confused and honestly, I want to die. If there was a way that I could kill myself without sending my soul to hell I would. Nothing that I’ve ever done has been good enough for her. I’m a first generation college student and I work as well. No one in my family has gone to college and anyone who’s gone to college knows how hard it is to work and go to school at the same time. I’m a freshman and because of the circumstances that I’ve been in, my grades are horrible, more horrible than they’ve ever been. I’ve tried to pray, but I feel like, my prayers are getting no higher than the ceiling. So I ask for halls prayers, that God delivers me from this situation. I feel so lost.