This past spring I had my first pap smear, it came back abnormal (high-grade CIN3). I had a colposcopy done and the results came back as benign (yay!). But after that ordeal I've been feeling depressed and experiencing low self-esteem and have been paranoid about having anything other than my well-scrubbed hands anywhere near my vulva/vagina (before this I had a very active sex life/drive with my bf as my partner). I feel like I've been slightly traumatized by my very first pap smear coming back as abnormal and then having to get a colposcopy. Has anyone had experience with this? I just want to get back to where I was before all this happened...