I live abroad because I married a German and for his work.

It wasn't a problem when we were visiting from afar, I didn't notice really but once we moved here, it's now been 2 yrs and my MIL complaining is really affecting holidays and everything.

She complains the most about cooking... constantly huffing and puffing while she is cooking. Has complained constantly that FIL doesn't help at all. She is constantly upset with her husband.. for not helping and wanting to cook and do things for her. I realized after we moved here that they really don't talk at all.. live separate lives. It all stems from that I think, marriage problems. She complains that she has to do all the cleaning in the house, basically she does everything inside and he does everything outside and the pays the bills.

She works part-time, only 10 hrs at most a week. She also complains about her work... while my mom and I work 50+ hrs.

Well this Xmas and multiple times I have offered to cook and clean... we always go to their place... but my husband says she likes to do things her way. I have seen how it turns out if you cook something for her, she is super picky. FIL cooked once for us and I feel like he purposely messed it up so he wouldn't have to again, she complained the whole time how it turned out, that he didn't use the right ingredients.

I've tried to cook with her to keep her company... but she is super picky about how to do things. All her children avoid cooking with her hence my husbands answer.. my SIL gets in huge fights when they are cooking together. I miss singing and laughing while cooking, having fun with my fam.

We have a 1 yr old and I just don't want her complaining and negativity around Xmas. Miss cooking with my mom so much... miss my family