So I have been with my husband for close to 10 years and married for only 3 years. Our lives have not been easy - mental abuse from parents, we both hated our jobs, a very ill parent, sexual assault, control issues, heavy drinking, avoidance issues, unfulfilled desires, to have kids or not, constantly ripping each other apart and pushing each other away.

I truly do love him and want to send my life with him. We are now the greatest roommates ever.

He doesn’t even look at me, kiss me good morning, hug me when I cry and forget about sex. So without being able to physically express myself I do everything around the house, cleaning, meals, work lunches, dog walking, laundry, outdoor chores, and never ask for help hoping he will see I do all this so he can have time for whatever he chooses in hopes he will have some time for me. We do not fight and just last night he sat down spoke to me for real in 6 months. He says he can not get over everything and can’t be happy.

I really agree with him that everything we have been through is awful and hurtful but there were good times. He was unable to see any good. He says I do not love him and probably never did. It is just awful to know that is how he feels. But I really do want to find away out of this together. I have read far too many self help and marriage books in the past months and still can not use any of the tools to help us.

We agreed to see a counsellor together. We both love each other. I just am feeling so alone in this. I do not want to bother any friends or parents with these issues.

Just wondering if anyone out there has been through similar heartbreak and found their way together again. I am scared he really wants to separate/divorce and nothing I do or say can change that.

I am just so heart broken over it.