Orgasming/Masturbation

okay so I'm f17 and I never had an orgasm. I've been sexually active since I was 15 and have had 4 sexual partners. All of them tired, did their stuff, but I never orgasmed and it feels a bit embarrassing and it also hurts their ego (and my current boyfriend's cuz he thinks he's not doing a good job, etc) 😅 Also I don't masturbate, idk I just don't find pleasure in that. It feels awkward and non-natural. Is all of that normal? 😅