Today is a week. A whole 7 days without my soulmate. I am numb. I ran out of tears. Today will be the first time I am able to view the body. The first time I can be close to him since. I don't know how to feel. I am scared. I can't imagine him just being lifeless. I don't think I'll want to leave his side. I don't want him to be alone anymore. I'm so angry. Yesterday was rough. I had to pick out his grave plot and headstone. I am 20 years old burying the love of my life... how is this okay?! How is this right? How does this happen? The thought of maybe not getting to be with him for another 40-60 years is really breaking me down. It's been a week and I can't even fathom going another day. Nobody can make this better. Nobody can take this hurt away. I need strength. I have none left. I CANT do this. I don't want to do this. I shouldn't be doing this. This post is just random thoughts going through my head so I'm sorry it's so jumbled. Please pray for a miracle everyone. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.