Sorry for the long post, but I just need to say this all to someone.

My husband and I tried for about a year to get pregnant after we got married with no success and then when we stopped trying because my cycle was all crazy and we were just disappointed every month. Then out of nowhere I finally got pregnant! We were over he hill excited! But, from the very first appointment (which wasn't until 14 weeks because I found out late) the doctor thought something was wrong and she sent me to the maternal fetal medicine specialists for the rest of my appointments. They did a harmony test, and amniocentesis. They had me talk to a genetics counselor and a fetal heart specialist. Basically there was something wrong with our baby involving her heart but they didn't know what and they couldn't figure it out. I began retaining a lot of fluid toward the end of my pregnancy and they kept me in the hospital. I was diagnosed with Mirror Syndrome (everything happening to my baby was starting to happen to me). My doctor got worried and I had to have an emergency c-section at 31 weeks. Our daughter was severely sick and there ended up being nothing the giant team of (14) doctors could really do for her in the end, so we lost her at 3 days old. We were devastated, but had hoped of still having more kids when we could try again.

We waited the 9 months recommended to try again for a baby and have now been trying for another 11 months. Every month I think "this is going to be the month", but every month I am again disappointed when the test is negative and I start my period. I can't do it anymore, I can't put all he effort into doing everything right to conceive and be so disappointed every month. I tried to talk to my doctor about what I could do to help and she said "just keep having sex 14 days before your period, there's nothing to worry about it hasn't been too long that you've been trying". Not helpful or what I wanted to hear at all.

I so badly want another baby, I just feel like it is so unfair, I have (no exaggeration) 9 friends who are pregnant right now without trying for more than a month.

Again, sorry for the long post, I just give up trying, maybe that's what it will take again. 😢