what do you do when you are have borderline bipolar depression but you are completely against taking medication that can cause severe side affects on your body and mental health. ive tried depression meds in college and they made me more suicidal which is why im so worried. I've been dealing with it on my own and its so tiring I just dont know if medication would make that much of a difference that it would be worth the risk . I fell like this is just my life long struggle and it will always be there. I have a 2 year old and possibly want to start ttc in a few months.