Long story short. A lot of shit has happened in my family and to me. And this could be the last holiday time to see my mom and sister since they are moving halfway across the country this coming year. But I really don’t feel like going home for 2-3 weeks. I already got out of being there now, fibbed and said I had stuff to do, I’ll be there on the 18. Not a complete lie, I did have to get my car fixed at the dealership. But that made my mom upset for some reason. She was all like, why not just have your normal mechanic here at home fix it. And I said it was a safety thing and I had already delayed it by a couple weeks at least getting it fixed. Still didn’t understand or whatever. I don’t care.

My younger sister has been there for a week and told me after 2 days she was done being there.

My mom COMPLAINS and RANTS about almost everything. Especially our family. Granted there was years of abuse by my dad to us.

I am of the thinking that if I constantly base all my decisions on how mommy dearest will react. Then how is that different? I don’t have the ability to say to my mom, I don’t want to come home and stay for days. I don’t have stuff I have to do, I’m not sick, etc. I just don’t want to. I’ll come down for a few days around/on Christmas - like Thursday to Tuesday. I’m willing to do something like that. I just cannot take 2-3 weeks of being trapped in that house. My mental health cannot take it. Especially if after 2 days, my sister was full up from mom’s behavior.

How can I explain this?? I’m supposed to leave on Monday.

* I do have a class I really need to finish from fall term (I got an extension/incomplete, so I can finish all the work) but that’s another can of worms I don’t think she has any business needing to know. I really want to be doing over break.