Just wanna be left alone

...during the holidays I'd rather be left alone, I might as well be single and ready to mingle, but I'm not... I've been in this long distance relationship for almost 5 years, I guess maybe I'm asking for too much, but it's the simple stuff, things I thought I never should be asking for like dates and quality time. Where the heck did I go wrong, I barely get anything. He's not wanting the things I want now, I guess by our age difference, he's 48, I'm 28, but I didn't see it as a problem, but after everything he says, he says, remeber I'm older than you, I already been there done that. He just wants a companionship, no marriage, no children, I feel like a fuck buddy, I went from being his woman to just a friend now, that's how he acknowledges me now anyways. I don't feel like I'm anything to him even though he says otherwise. There's nothing there anymore, I feel like I'm just there, haven't seen him since July. I'm in this funky mood because I've lost twice as much, not gaining anything. He's not supportive in my interest or hasn't been, if it ain't about him getting his ish done first, then forget about yourself and trying to cover your behind. He told me stop applying to jobs because no one would hire me, I 've been applying to jobs and nothing yet, makes me think he has alot to do with it because he has people higher up. He wanted to spend christmas with me I told him I didn't care, I'd rather be alone since it's been like that forever anyways, I'm pretty sure, his mother would want him home with her anyways since that's the excuse I always get, whatever. Maybe it's just time for me to be solo for awhile so I can focus and get back on track.