rough days

church today was a little hard. praying for patience and trust. it's CD 10. my last opportunity to get this horrible #hsg is tomorrow (or wait another whole month). naturally, my thoughts are consumed by this exam. I didn't even want to go to sleep last night, despite being exhausted, because I just had to scroll through a million instagram accounts about #infertility. trying to reassure myself we're making the right decisions

well, today was the Christmas pageant, which was funny and super cute. but I kept tearing up. played it off like I was laughing and yawning (my eyes always water when I yawn), but I honestly just wanted to burst into tears. there were all these extra babies and toddlers today because of the pageant. the woman behind me is extremely pregnant. the sermon was about Mary and Elizabeth. Elizabeth who was barren for years until conceiving John the Baptist (the Book is FULL of infertility it seems). I just couldn't handle it

thought I was doing ok. honestly. but this morning? I'm really not. hoping lunch with mom, a small act of service and the ravens game can pull me through the rest of today