Had my 10w sono today. They started with belly scan then said the pics weren’t clear enough. Switched to internal to get a better view. We were already scheduled for NIPS/genetic counseling.

After 30 minutes they call us back in and say that they’re almost certain the baby has anencephaly or acrania, a condition incompatible with life. My doctor is supposed to call later with our options, which seem to be abortion, waiting to miscarry/having a baby that lives only a few hours or days.

I had thought last year at my previous 10w scan that not finding the heartbeat was the worst possible outcome. This feels worse though. At this point I just feel dead inside and wish I was dead outside too. I am broken.

UPDATE

Spoke with my doctor. The genetics counselor was more definitive with her on the phone and indicated things are completely hopeless. We’re still going to have another sono in 10 days before moving forward with a d&e;, but she said I need to go back to the same place.

Apparently once we hit 12 weeks termination becomes more complicated and we’d need to go into the city rather than our local hospital. I’ve been researching women that carry their anencephaly babies to term, and I can’t imagine it. It seems like most found out much later, around 20w not 10w.

I’m almost 37. I wish I was strong enough to carry and meet my baby for whatever short time we’d have, but I feel like I’m running out of time. We had used a fertility specialist, and the closer I get to 40 the lower my chances are of ever having a healthy baby.

I wouldn’t have terminated a baby with Down syndrome or other non fatal issues, but if the second scan comes back the same as prognosis “incompatible with life”, I just don’t know how to feel about that. I saw someone suggest to another anencephaly mom that they carry to term to donate the baby’s organs, but I’ve also been reading that most are not acceptable for donation.