I’m finally deciding to leave my husband of 5 1/2 yrs I’m sick and tired of his abuse and control. Our relationship started out as hell and I should have left then but I was 19 turning 20 and so naive and thought he knew better because he was 32. He was so abusive towards me in the beginning he wanted to know all of my past encounters and when they weren’t juicy enough he made up part and when I said it wasn’t true get mad at me and call me a liar. First time he hit me though he said he was trying to keep me quiet and I had scratches on my face ( I was crying because he was calling me a pos slut) then I told him a story about a sexcapade and he got mad because I couldn’t remember all of it due to being black out drunk and so he made me sign on to the chat account I met the dude on and found out the rest of the story (I sucked his dick) and he turns and slaps me giving me a black eye in the process oh yeah he also made me sick his dick while I was crying not wanting to.This happened on and off for a few years. At some point he decides to go on a camping trip for the weekend leaving me at home so I wanted to hang with my gal pal and we went to the casino with her bf while there he calls me and I tell him I’m there with her and her mom because I was scared to tell him about my friends guy knowing he would assume I was unfaithful, well after feeling guilty for lying I tell him the truth and then for the rest of his trip he’s calling me yelling at me telling me he’s going to leave me( this was my biggest fear because he made me feel like he was all I could get) and so he get back home basically keeps me up interrogating me for 2 days straight no sleep telling me he’s going to leave me unless I tell hi I cheated I kept telling him I never had because I haven’t but I finally broke and said I did even when I didn’t then we go to sleep and the next day he makes me have sex with him and lick his ass and then he shits in my mouth. I fucking hate him! Then a year or so after I started fighting back I bit him in the leg after he got me to the ground and kicked me in the head. And again this happens for another year and then he starts going psychotic and paranoid and saying people are out for him and going to kill him and are visiting his work (also in between all this time he has also made me become a cam model and I stopped shortly before this) so he quits his job spontaneously because someone is trying to kill him. We all move in to his dads Rv (his kids and my kid included) that’s on his property because ow we can’t afford rent. So because he thinks someone is going kill him soon he wants to make sure he has a good legacy so he gets me pregnant. I’m excited I love babies but we find out there is complications and that our son might not make it so my husband then starts to think that my babies fate is his and that when the docs talk about baby dying there really talking about him. This was for my whole pregnancy I didn’t have anyone to lean on except his sister and that was only during appointments. And now he takes my paycheck while being unemployed for 2 years now and takes my tips from waitressing. And my last straw was because it had been so long since he was violent towards me I thought it was over then 2weeks before thanksgiving he try’s pushing me out of the car repeatedly because I refused him I said I didn’t want to be with him anymore I was asking to be taken home so I can pack my stuff and leave I push him back and he pulls my hair out leaving a bald spot. Im tired of this I’m 26 and am good looking I know I can find someone that treats me right I just wish I realized it sooner. I’m leaving a day after Xmas so the kids can have a nice Christmas but once there other parents pick them up I’m leaving to live with my parents. Because I am good enough and I deserve happiness.