i have four beautiful sisters. Two older two younger. i also have a younger step sister. i hate to be this person and please know im praying for peace, but WHY NOT ME?! My older sister had two babies on accident. Now my teenaged step sister has welcomed her baby. and why?! why did i carry my daughter to 41 weeks only to deliver her with no heartbeat? why have i spent the last 4 years trying and trying with no second line in sight? why do i feel so bitter? this is my first nephew and im over the moon, and yet today before going to see him i cried on the bathroom floor for 20 minutes. its just so frustrating. so lonely.