Hi all, so my husband and I have been TTC for 6 years now. I have PCOS, it has been a long and difficult road to walk. It continues to be a long and difficult road to walk. I need some strength to make it through. My husbands sister has 3 amazing beautiful children that the rest of her family is raising, us included because she actively chooses to only be in there lives when it is convenient for her. They deserve so much more than she gives them, and it gets harder and harder to send them back to there dad's house when it is time for them to go home. I see so many women around me who have just gotten married, weren't planning a pregnancy, or have literally told me they never wanted children, nor the ones they have (my husbands sister) I just don't understand why 2 people with such a heart for children, 2 people that go above and beyond for our nieces and nephew seem to hit wall after wall aftwr wall. All I want for my life is to have my own bundle of joy, to make my husband a daddy, to stop crying and feeling such heart break month after month. All I want is to make our family complete, to not feel so inadequate as a woman. My husband is gracious, patient and loving. He never blames or puts pressure on me about my PCOS, he is always kind and understanding. I am so greatful and so lucky to have him. I just don't understand why. I desperately need strength to continue on, to keep fighting and not give up. We are currently seeing a wonderful doctor for the first time since TTC. In the past our doctors never seemed to listen or they only wanted to put a bandaid on the problem instead of trying to offer a solution. Which our current doctor is the exact opposite. Instead of one solution she offers five. We are never rushed out the door by her and she truly listens. Its still so hard to be patient. Am i just selfish? I don't understand. Every year we get so many presents for nieces and nephews which we love doing. But when are the present under the tree going to be for my babies? I just had to get this out. Baby dust to all.