so I've been trying to conceive for over a year and a half with no luck at all. last month I decided to give it up and wanted to take a break because it's stressing me out. every month I'm going fucking crazy wondering if I'm pregnant or not and taking test after test while convincing myself I'm pregnant (I feel symptoms and all lmao) even tho they're negative. ugh! anyways, I usually have a 39 day cycle but it often goes to 43 days but NEVER more (I've been tracking for almost 2 years). my normal pms symptoms right before my period are sore boobs, tired, grouchy, cry baby, and cramping. plus like 24 hours or so before af I always have a really light pink discharge that only comes when I wipe. well my period was supposed to come dec. 15 that would have been cycle day 39. well it didn't. Dec. 16 I have all my normal pms symptoms plus SEVERE back pain, I'm a little more tired than normal, my boobs really hurt, I can't really eat, and I feel nauseous. but no pink discharge at all! so I tell my fiance I might be pregnant but I'm not sure how because I avoided ovulation. he thinks I'm crazy so he's just like "mmmkay".. so I blow it off. well Wednesday was cycle day 44 and still no sign off af so I bring it up to him again and say I've never passed 43 days. still he thinks I'm crazy. I didn't want to test because it's depressing as shit to see another negative and also every time I test my period comes the very next day. it's like clock work Lmao. well today is day 47 and still nothing. I keep thinking she's here because I'm leaking lots of creamy white discharge and it honestly feels like af. so today I finally caved and got a dollar tree test, well 2 actually haha, and when I took it, it was blazing positive right away. I FREAKED! so I tell my fiance when he gets home from work and he doesn't say anything just gives me a weird look. we were supposed to finish our Christmas shopping tonight but now Because he got all bitchy about how tired he is and blah blah blah we didn't go I'm just like "how the fuck do you think I feel?!" I do everything for him and our 2 boys. I know he's just moody but so am I and he really hurt my feelings that he barely reacted then started yelling at me later. I know he cares but right now I need him to show it.. it's just making me sad. I don't have anyone to talk to and I don't wanna tell anyone else yet so I'm just here venting to you ladies.. please wish me a happy and healthy 9 months and baby dust to you all❤

sorry so long and probably had typos but I'm in bed and tired I just needed to vent lol