I've been with this guy for almost three years. We have a child. He got another girl pregnant and she just gave birth. He cried for nine months about how it was a mistake and he didn't even talk to the girl for 6months out of the pregnancy.

We've had a ton of issues but I loved him and supported him and tried to trust him. I went through his phone (which I'm against by the way, but I was on it and saw an innapropriate dm from the other woman he got pregnant) so I clicked it and read and then went to there texts and he was talking to her way out of line. Calling her a hot mama and how she owes him sex. She also sent him a nasty video. I was shocked and hurt.

I trusted him and he told me how he didn't even care to see her, I saw this when the girl was in labor and he didn't even want to go. I was so confused because I gave him support to be a good dad to his new baby and I also trusted him when he said he wouldn't cross boundaries with her and didn't even want her or like her.

I just don't understand. Everything he says to his friends and me about her and him not going for the labor or delivery of this child vs how he was speaking to her makes me crazy.

He refuses to speak to me or tell me why he did what he did. He keeps saying he won't participate in the convo and when I confronted him in person he flipped out and punched holes in the wall and was awful.

I just need some strength I can't believe how betrayed I feel and it makes it worse that he just doesn't care and won't say anything. I'm sick to my stomach and my heart hurts. How do I act? How do I not let this kill and break my heart?