I’m sitting here in my living room floor, wrapping last minute gifts in the quiet. Unfortunately the quiet gives a lot of room for negative thinking and this Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>, all my mind seems to want to go back to is the fact that there won’t be a mess in my living room in the morning and that there won’t be the sounds of little feet hitting the ground running to our big fluffy Christmas tree at 6 am. My heart hurts every Christmas. It’s been years that we have actively tried to conceive, with fertility medicine not helping. I know what it’s like to watch a child in the store with his mother this time of year picking out gifts and wish that it was you that was taking your kid to the store to do that. I know what it’s like to hear people complain about not knowing what to get their kids for Christmas acting like it’s a burden and just staying quiet thinking well, that’s a problem I’d love to have. I don’t write this to bring y’all down, but I wanna say that you’re not alone. My heart hurts again this Christmas for a gift I have yet to receive and a gift that is not guaranteed. You are not alone in the quiet this Christmas. I’m there too. But don’t let the quiet stop you from enjoying this time and when you feel yourself giving into those thoughts and getting lost in them, it means it’s time to do something else and distract yourself. I’m praying and hoping and wishing, for all of us with no children this Christmas, that it will be our last. That next year our house is filled from top to bottom with laughter, little feet, and smiling faces. Baby dust to all of y’all and Merry Christmas.