One day it’ll be my turn! It may not be with the father of my beautiful little girl. But one day a man will realize I’m good enough for him to ask me to marry him. One day I will be more than just a baby mama! One day I will be someone’s first choice. But for today, I will NOT cry. I will NOT be angry. I will be happy for my brother who just got engaged and now I will be happy for my boyfriends sister who got engaged last night. I will have a smile on my face today as I attend his family’s Christmas. I will congratulate his sister and her fiancé. I will gush over the ring. I will kindly accept her invitation to be a bridesmaid as I have already accepted my brothers fiancés invitation. I will smile at both weddings at the young couples who are younger than me and who haven’t been together as long as my relationship has been. I will support both couples and love and cherish that they want me to be apart of their days. And I will NOT let anyone know how purely devastated I am that even though I’ve had his child, he’s seen me labor for three days, then was cut open, dealt with a terrible recover, he wouldn’t marry me but he bought a house and moved me in with him three months after we found out I was pregnant, standing there waiting for the test results and listened to him tell me “if you are pregnant we will not get married” and I was the dumbass to stick around but after all of that he apparently thinks it’s okay to take his precious time all while teasing me and letting me pick out a ring and then tell me the ring is here but it’s been 3 days and he still hasn’t even went to look at it and then he tells me he wants to do it on his own time. I won’t let anyone know how broken I am. Because one day a man will love me so much and want to be with me so badly he won’t be able to wait another minute after getting the call that the ring has arrived to go get it. One day I’ll pick up the pieces this man has made with my body, soul, and heart. One day I will be good enough for myself. Because I be damned if I ever let a man make me feel this way again. I be damned if I let a man make me so broken I shed all my tears and am unable to shed anymore! One day I will be courageous and stop hoping this man will ask because it’s becoming extremely obvious to me he’s just making excuses and teasing me for two years and doesn’t want to marry me he just doesn’t want me to move two hours away back home with my family and take his daughter. I’ll eventually get enough strength to leave and stop hoping for something that will never happen. But until then I’m hoping for one day. Because today I’m just to tired and to hurt to do anything less than smile and be brave.....