Update: So he was gone for over three hours. I had Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> plans I really wanted us to do. Go to church, watch Christmas movies, build a Gingerbread house together, and play games.

He was gone for just under four hours. So I made the gingerbread house by myself and started making out Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> dinner. He calls just before coming home and I decided to answer it. He was so extremely apologetic. He went and talked to his best friend and they talked it out. Immediately he was saying that he was wrong. He was only concerned about being right instead of listening to what I was trying to tell him and that yes, it is wrong that blaming me is his automatic response. He apologized when he got home, too. When I finally said it was okay he said, “no, it’s not. I was a dick and it’s never okay to treat you like that.”

Needless to say we didn’t go to church, but we did end up doing the rest of the list. Agreed with him. What he had done wasn’t okay, but if he’s actually learned from it, we’ll move past it for now.

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Sorry this is a bit TMI a strange story, but I’m so pissed, if I don’t tell someone about it, I’m going to make a really hasty decision and no one will be happy.

So my boyfriend loves to blame me for his pain. All the time.

He stubs his toe on a table that’s been in the same spot for years: “ow! Why did you put that there!?”

I grab his hand and he apparently has a bruise from Work that I didn’t know about: “ow! Why would you grab me there?”

Her recently there was a time we were both laying on the bed. He was petting the cat on the ground and I was reaching for something on my nightstand. Neither one of us were looking at each other. When I finished reaching, he finished petting, and my elbow came down and hit him right in the head.

“Ow! You knew my head was there! Why would you come down like that?!?”

He knows how much this pisses me off.

Okay, for the TMI part on how today his injury is all my fault.

I’d just gotten home from work. He was in his pj bottoms and playing on his phone. We were giggling and talking and playing around. I (TMI) jokingly pulled his penis out and was trying to tease him for some Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> fun. No big deal. He likes it. Cat is on his chest, he’s playing games on his phone. We’re talking. I’m looking right at his dick, and start playfully wiggling it around, and low and behold apparently the fucking cat was watching, too, and bapped right at his penis with his claws.

I was so embarrassed and felt so bad. He pushed the cat off and I caressed his penis and was exclaiming how sorry I was. That I didn’t know the cat was watching and would do that. He threw my hands off of him and exclaimed “Why would you fucking do that!?”

That did it. I felt so awful and bad for it ever happening, I was already in straight up tears. I told him I didn’t do it on purpose and he always blames me for his getting hurt and I didn’t do anything but play with him. I sat at the edge of the bed so I could give him space. His retort was that he wasn’t actually blaming me, but that blaming me is his automatic pain response and he didn’t actually mean it.

I said that it’s his automatic response because he thinks it’s okay to blame me for when something is wrong with him and it makes me feel worthless and I’m literally sitting over here bawling and he just says, “okay.”

The next hour after that continues with me sitting at the edge of the bed crying and silently watching my phone. His hour consists of him laying down and watching loud videos and laughing at them. Injured penis forgotten. Cat back in his arms.

The whole hour goes by before he whispers a little “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t get up. He didn’t look away from his phone. He didn’t care at all that he actually upset me. He just wanted to say sorry so I knew it was out there and then he’d be a dick all over again the next time he got hurt. So I decided to remain silent because I knew I didn’t have nice words to say still. He didn’t know what he was actually sorry for.

Another hour goes by. I’m sitting at the edge of the bed, making his last Christmas gift from playing cards that day “52 Reasons Why I Love You.” I’m silently working away, and he’s watching more loud videos on his phone and laughing away. Then he gets up, walks over the stool I’m making my project on, and doesn’t say a word. He lets his dog out and is out for 10 minutes. No big deal. More than likely on his phone while he does it.

He comes back in and slams the bedroom door shut behind him. “It wasn’t that I was blaming you,” he said, “it’s just my automatic response when I’m in pain.” He repeated.

Like I said, be apologized, but he didn’t know what he was apologizing for. And yes, as stated above, I did tell him that it’s not right.

So I repeated myself with the fact he thinks it’s okay to blame me for his pain and that’s why he does it and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t blame him for my pain. He is literally thinking of me in the most negative way. like I am he one who causes him pain and nothing else. I am the one to blame.

Of course he doesn’t want to listen to me. What does he do? He fucking growls under his breath! He is seriously still agitated with me?!?

“That’s not what I think at all! But of course I’m fucking always wrong and I can never be right!”

I remained calm, and continued working on my project this whole time. When he growled and exclaimed that last bit, I decided to speak up and just said “if you’re going to get pissed off, go somewhere else.”

“That’s what I was doing outside!”

Then he slams the door shut on the way out and peeled out the driveway.

We’ve been in a relationship for almost a year and a half. Best friends for 11 and a half. We’ve never had a fight like this EVER in all this time. Friend or relationship-wise. I remained calm after I finished crying the first time. I cried a little when he left. Now I’m just calmly pissed. I’m supposed to be giving him his promise ring for Christmas tomorrow, and I’m not entirely sure I’m up for it now.

Am I entirely wrong? I understand maybe there was something I could have done more maturely, but I don’t think my feelings on the matter are invalid.