I have spent the last year or so contemplating Islam quite a bit. I am a Christian-raised American who identifies with being more of a deist, as it gives me the chance to challenge and learn more about multiple religions in a slightly more unbiased view that say, being Christian and studying Christianity using Christian sources or accounts from Christian people. The same goes with Islam. I have read more than half the Qu’ran and find myself constantly researching various Islamic topics.

I had studied abroad in a Muslim country and have made many Muslim friends, and I had told myself that as nice as they are, I wouldn’t ever be a person who would convert to Islam. Being a deist has brought a good amount of satisfaction in my life, as it has relieved dogma obligations and really allowed me to examine my own beliefs without a particular religious group trying to influence me. I find it interesting how I keep coming back to wanting to know more and more about Islam, even if it is very different from my own foundations.

From a Christian background, I think a lot about Christ Jesus and his role in my life, but I cannot help but feel dissatisfied with the idea that the way is only through him alone, especially when there are so many in the world who will never know him enough to accept him into their lives (which makes me wonder, are we all pre-destined for Hell if there will always be a fixed amount who are not convinced enough). I like Islam as it says that Jews, Christians, and Muslims - as long as they believe in the One True God - may go to Heaven. Please correct me if this is incorrect!

This concept makes sense to me and I also appreciate the structure and disciple that comes with Islam. The catch here is that there are a few things that don’t make sense to me and I would feel untrue to myself if I blindly adopted them or accepted them, and they make me second-guess my interest in reverting, because I don’t know if I would really fit into the Muslim community or provide a realistic representation of this religion.

The things I am opposed to are the requirement of the headscarf as physical Hijab (I adamantly do not believe I have to cover something like my hair to be spiritually right or pure and I don’t see it for me as a problem of bravery or otherwise) and the application of the Sunnah (seemingly political abuse and things taken out of historical context) with today.

If anyone would be willing to talk about your experiences with reversion doubts, especially of these topics, or if you are a Muslim individual that maybe doesn’t fit into a traditional mold, I would like to know!