Long story short- my MIL will be 60 soon and my husband and I are expecting our first child. My husband is an only child. She is a single mother who received help from her father all her life--- he drove across the country and brought her back home when she and my husband's father broke up. Her father raised my husband while she worked; she still lives in his house (he passed away 10 yrs ago and she already had it in her name). So she literally didn't raise my husband.

When he was 2 years old, my husband was badly burned by boiling soup on the stove. He crawled up onto the countertop and fell in the soup. Yes, FELL in boiling soup. While his mother was laying on the couch watching tv 20 feet away. She denies drinking at the time but that's all she does now so I don't believe her. My husband had to go the burn hospital 2 states away all his growing life, receiving countless skin graphs and surgeries. His arm is covered in scar tissue and he has scars on his ribs as well.

There are other things I can mention about her "parenting" but then my husband sounds irresponsible, which he can be, so I'll skip his learned behaviors and focus on his mother.

Along with this, she has terrible drinking/health habits and thinks she can do whatever she wants, regardless of our requests or rules. She shows up at our house several times a day sometimes even though I have told her that I do not want her visiting unannounced. That's without a baby. She has no boundaries. I've spent the last ten years joking *cough cough* that we're not a threesome.

Now, she makes comments about the costs of daycare and how she has a flexible schedule and can take care of our children for free. My husband isn't 100% on board but he loves the word free. I, on the other hand, do not trust her. She didn't raise her child so I'm not giving her mine to do as she pleases. I also don't trust her. If my husband was that badly injured when she was only 30 years old and he was her own child, what can I expect from 60 year old her? I have friends on both sides of this debate but honestly I just can't accept her as a caregiver. Am I wrong?