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Question

Me and my boyfriend are both 14 and we’ve been dating for a year and 7 months.  We talk over text and we hardly ever talk face to face because we are both so very shy. He asked me to me his girlfriend over text. We’ve only hugged one time in our relationship, which was on Valentine’s Day. I really want to talk to him in person but I just get so nervous around him and I’m sure he feels the same way. I can hardly breathe around him like it’s crazy. My friends say our relationship is weird and they try to push me to him. Any advice on how to have the courage to talk to him in person? Has anyone else gone through this ? How did you get over it?

Accepted Answer

This isn’t a real relationship. This is a middle school typical “relationship”. Talk to him in person. Shy isn’t a very good excuse for someone you’ve been dating for over a year and a half. I began dating my boyfriend in 7th grade and off the bat had an actual, going on dates, hanging out relationship. We are still together after all these years.

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Honestly I think you should just focus on being a kid and enjoy life.

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If you are too scared to acctuallt talk to each other usually means your not ready for a relationship. do what feels right to you

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Oh yes I have been through that stage. My current boyfriend is one that I have been dating since 7th grade and when we first started we have 1 class together and rarely talked for like the first year and a half. 
So I initiated conversation first cause we were both shy but I had just a tap bit (like a sprinkle) of more courage. So I thought about common grounds we had. The biggest one is that we rarely talked. I pointed that out in a fun joking manner and then conversation rolled from there. 
You say you two text good so how about you get a good conversation going and then just continue it in person from there. 
Um... mind you I’m only 16 so don’t talk my advice so heavily. Also keep in mind that both me and my bf hate texting and would rather call or talk in person. So we maybe different and these results will vary for you.

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Honestly best thing to do is meet him. Don't bring any friends as that makes things uncomfortable. Just talk to each other an over come that barrier. Me and my boyfriend were pretty similar as we talked for ages over text but never met and she we did we had our mates there and that makes things awkward as you feel you can't be yourself. Best thing just plan a time for you and him maybe go for a coffee or lunch somewhere i dont know then go to the movies just anything that'll mean quality time together. Hope this helps xox

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Trust me,, keep pushing. Me and my boyfriend of a year could barely breathe in front of eachother. I was dating him before I even had held his hand. If it makes you happy then don’t look at the stereotype of “i need to take pictures with him and kiss and hug and be so so comfortable” right away. Patience is key

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This isn’t a relationship. If you can’t do even hug let alone talk to each other than you 1 Aren’t ready for a real relationship and 2 you don’t truly have feelings for one another.

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Wow..I don't think this is a case of shyness, but moreso a case of serious social anxiety and anxiousness on both of your parts. Social media and other forms of nonverbal communication will just continue to be a crutch in your relationship and will prevent any real progress in your relationship. I think of social media as an initial icebreaker when interested in someone new, but social media can easily weigh your relationship down if not used properly. The two of you actually believe and have convinced youselves that this is a normal relationship. I hope the two of you will eventually move on from this and encourage each other to take a few steps foward. The two of should learn to cope with this social anxiety now, so that it doesn't follow you into adulthood.

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honestly just get it over with, it gets easier the more you talk to him

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I had a similar relationship not to long ago. Our relationship was very digital. He asked me to be his girlfriend over text just after he had graduated high school and I had just finished my sophomore year. We hardly ever saw eachother in person and we texted everyday. We never hugged or held hands or anything like that. Since we didn’t have any physical contact and pretty much all we did was text, I didn’t feel like it was a real relationship and eventually I didn’t feel the same way about him towards the end of our relationship as I did in the beginning. We were both shy and eventually I broke up with him because we were both too similar. My experience may not help, but this is how it ended up with me. My advice to you is try and be more outgoing and ask him out on more dates and if you want, (for lack of a better word) initiate hugging and hand holding yourself. If you do this, he might feel more comfortable and ask you out on more dates. Sorry about the long and winded explanation, but I hoped I helped.

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