My primary doctor (not OBGYN) nearly convinced me to wean before I was ready. And now I'm kinda mad about it. I went in because I wanted to discuss my period not coming back and some weight loss that I was experiencing due to BFing. 

I scheduled the appointment wanting reassurance and to talk out my options for getting pregnant again, now that my breastfeeding son was 13 months old. I wanted to discuss some ways to encourage my period/ovulation to return (I.e. Reducing feeds, gaining weight, etc).

What I never expected was for my doctor to tell me I HAD TO stop breastfeeding if I wanted to get pregnant again. She said it with such conviction that I immediately burst into tears just at the thought of it. I wanted another baby but never thought of weaning so abruptly. 

You would think that my outburst of tears and obvious attachment to breastfeeding would prompt her to help me think of other options. But she coldly said that my OBGYN would suggest weaning if I got pregnant anyway. So I left, thinking I had to make the hard choice between breastfeeding or baby #2. 

In a matter of days I cut my son down to 1 feeding before bed. And OMG I cried every time I didn't get to nurse him. I SOBBED actually. I sensed this could lead to some mild depression since I was no where near ready to let go of my precious time nursing my son. But I started weaning anyway, still holding on to that one feeding per day because I didn't want to let it go.

Then on my own volition I decided I would test for ovulation every day for the next month just to see if I was fertile (despite not menstruating).

Less than a week later I tested positive for ovulation!! What?! My baby could have been completely weaned. I could have lost my milk! I'm so glad I decided to find out for myself that I was in fact fertile and ready to start prepping my body for another baby. But why didn't my doctor help me come up with that plan?

Moral is, general practitioners, though they mean well, don't always have the full arsenal of knowledge about these very specific feminine issues. Sometimes even OB's and Pediatricians have even tried to push for things that didn't align with what I knew to be true. I had already learned that lesson throughout pregnancy and experienced the lack of support for breastfeeding once the baby was born. I was always able to keep my head on straight and make the best decision for my son. But I was extra vulnerable this time. This time I almost allowed generic advice from my well-meaning doctor to take away months of bonding with my first baby. I could have never gotten that back! I just wish she would have taken time to explore more possibilities instead of recommending a fast fix to my nuanced and emotional predicament.

I don't know if this means I will be able to get pregnant or not. I might make the decision to wean in the next months or tandem nursing could be my future if I get pregnant. But I do know that weaning after a teary doctor's visit because I felt I HAD to was a sure way to regret and sadness. I'm thankful I had the instinct to figure out a plan that works for me and my family.

UPDATE: I wrote this post this morning. Took a pregnancy test tonight and I got a BFP!! I was pregnant the whole time! Even before I went to see my doctor. What a roller coaster! Thinking I wasn't fertile, to trying to wean, to thinking I was ovulating and then actually being pregnant - all within 10 days!! Totally explains all the emotions I've been feeling! Also, explains why my OPK's came back positive 3 days in a row. What a whirlwind but I'm so happy for that BFP :)))