Ladies I need your advice please! Those of you that have been in a long relationship, or not but have good advice.

To give you a rundown.. First of all.. I’m now 26; ever since my divorce 3 years ago I have lived on my own, worked 2 jobs to pay bills, get no support or assistance, I found my peace which became my hobbies.. being outdoors. Trail running, hiking state parks, rock climbing. I enjoyed keeping a clean home also.

Well I became best friends with a coworker over a year ago, Ryan (now 32). I left that job and Ryan and I started hanging out. We became even closer friends. He hid it from me for awhile that he liked me as more. When he finally told me we became more than best friends......

MINDBLOWING SEX!!!! Like.. I’ve been with girls and thought they were the best at eating but god damn!! He makes me scream so people 20 miles away hear 🤤💦 so the sex is 100% not an issue

So we continued that for a few months before I let him meet my kids (3 1/2yr girl, 6yr boy). He’s a big kid so they instantly all got along. So we started dating.. he moved in with me a few months later.

I had a rough time period for about 4 months. I was raped when he was away with his buddies. He was there for me through it all like no one else was. He put up with me being an alcoholic, suicidal depression and anxiety. Made sure I went to the doctors and kept up on my meds to help me. Well after 3-4 months of my self wallow I pulled my head out of my ass.. quit drinking and focused on fitness goals. Lifting. That is where trouble started..

After getting back to my normal self I wanted a clean house, I wanted him to help pay the bills, help doing chores.. and I wanted to get back outdoors and do things I loved. Well after 6 months of trying to help him nothing has changed. He said at first he wasn’t use to this responsibility, which is true he’s been a lazy filthy bachelor for 31 years. So I tried to help him. But it’s gotten to the point where I still feel like the maid! I clean and cook and take care of the kids and work and workout when I can. Maybe once a week he will do some chores. Also right now he is unemployed and I’m STILL doing chores and cooking and working. And forget doing anything outdoors.. we always have to do what he wants. Which is playing video games, phone games or hanging with his larping friends or sitting around watching tv. He’s so addicted to technology! I’m so not!

I’ve talked to him about this stuff a hundred times. Told him I need help around the house. We even divided up chores. He told me I have to tell him to do things (even tho he’s a grown ass man and see dirty dishes and apparently has to be told to do them).. He did help pay bills.

He also doesn’t like that I spend a lot of time at the gym when the kids aren’t around. Which irritates me cuz lifting is how I destress and it makes me happy.

The night the new Star Wars movie came out we were leaving his family Christmas thing. He wanted to go see it with my daughter and I but I told him it was late and cold and we need to get her home. She wldnt sit through a movie like that. Its irresponsible. He got his way (spent his money from his last paycheck even tho he doesnt have a job). By the time the movie started I had grabbed her and I’s things and asked for his car keys. We walked around outside(it’s December in Indiana; it’s fuckin cold).. also (its at an outdoor mall), went into a bookstore till they closed . Got her something to snack on then drove around for an hour and a half so she cld sleep till he got done with the movie at midnight. Never once bothered to check in on us. Told me it was my fault he watched the movie cuz I didn’t force him to leave to try calling him during the movie.

So.. yeah I’m dating my best friend. He’s still my best friend. Should he have stayed that? I can’t stand living with him anymore. He’s still a grown ass lazy man. He’s not a man of the house I want in my future but I’m trying to change him. How much longer do I keep trying?? Do I just ask for a break? It’s been 6 months of trying to get him to grow up. We’ve Been almost dating a year now. I miss being single. Not to flirt or hook up.. I miss doing what I love. Am I overreacting? Is this normal for couples to live like this? Does the women have to he the head of the house now? Work, clean, cook and take care of all the family?? Is this the new norm?? Cuz I dont think I like it.

Edit/add on: what about my kids tho? They love him? His the first person other than their dad (ex hubby) that I’ve ever lived with or had around them much. I don’t know how to begin to explain something like this. They were so young at the divorce it was easy. Now they ask questions. At least Ryan and I have not yelled around the kids.