Feeling conflicted/lonely for celebrating our rainbow in the midst of continuous family loss. (3 deaths in 2 yrs)

Within the last 2 yrs, I lost my dad, my baby and now my sister. I am currently going through a high risk pregnancy and could not have felt more lonely. We have reached the 3rd trimester and want to celebrate but feel conflicted about showing any type of emotion during these times. It seems like there is never a time to just be happy without taking the focus off of others. Am I going crazy?