Embarrassed about lady bits

I’m so embarrassed about the way my lady bits look so much that I often find myself crying over it. It stops me from getting intimate with anyone at all, I’ve been seeing this amazing guy for over a year and everytime things get heated up I stop him. I once got up and ran to the bathroom because I got so freaked out. I know that we all have different shapes down there but mine is so gross I can’t even look at it. My labia minora is large and it’s even uncomfortable when wearing jeans and I always have to fix them. I hate that it makes me feel so ugly. I’m not very confident anyway but that puts my self esteem even lower. If I had the money for surgery I’d do it in a heartbeat without thinking about all the risks.

I just needed to vent as it’s affecting my intimate relationships and I can’t get over it 😔