Hello all. On September 29 I had a miscarriage. Supposedly, I was 8 weeks along, but when I went in for the sono there was no heartbeat. My doctor said it was more than likely just a blighted ovum (an egg that stuck but that didn’t get fertilized properly). She said it was very likely, especially since I had gotten pregnant within days of getting my Implanon birth control removed, so it made it a LITTLE easier to cope. For anyone that has experienced a loss though, it doesn’t matter how far along you are...you start planning mentally and emotionally for that baby the moment you find out you are pregnant. Needless to say, it was still very difficult. Now fast forward to December 26-we got a positive On a home pregnancy test and the lines have been getting darker every day since. Today, I am 4 weeks and 4 days. I want SO badly to be excited, but it’s so hard when in the back of my mind all I can think about is WHAT IF it happens again. I’m the type of person that gets excited about little things and I LIKE to get my hopes up..not because I’m naive, but because I believe you’ve only got one life, you shouldn’t waste it worrying about the bad things that can happen. With that being said, I can’t even take my own advice right now 😔 Every cramp I have terrifies me. Every time something feels off, I worry. The worst part is that I KNOW it’s common to cramp during this early part of pregnancy. I KNOW worrying can have a physical effect on my body. It’s just like I have this lingering, worrisome, mean person that keeps tagging along shooting me down every time I get too excited. And I hate it! I want to be excited. I want to get my hopes up. I want to tell my friends and family. But fear keeps me from that joy. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle your first trimester after a miscarriage? What helped you not to worry as much? When did you feel like it was “safe” to get excited? When did you decide to tell your friends and family? Any advice would be so greatly appreciated 😊 Thank you and God bless 🙏🏻