For the the last 20 years, I’ve struggled with body image and body confidence. I’ve gained and lost over 75 lbs. I’ve struggled with disordered eating. I’ve had health issues that caused me to lose more weight than I needed to. I’ve worked hard on improving my relationship with food and my body. I have come to a place of peace with my body.

However... despite truly accepting my body, being truly okay with what I look like for the first time ever, and embracing a Health At Every Size framework for my life and well being, pregnancy brought up some of those old feelings.

Last week, after expressing some thoughts related to not liking how much weight I’ve gained, my husband said, “Hey look, I know you’re not comfortable in your body right now, but have you really looked in the mirror lately? You are the epitome of a fertility goddess. You look like those pictures and statues.”

Honestly, it felt like a slap in the face, in the moment. Nope. Not even once have I seen that in the mirror. I’ve been struggling with depression and adjustment and the fear of the unknown and lack of control.

But I looked. And I saw it. And I cried.

I’m glad I still have 5 weeks left to let myself feel it.

If you haven’t looked in the mirror and saw your inner earth mama/fertility goddess, go look, y’all. Look at pictures of fertility goddesses, statues, paintings, totems, and earth Mamas. We only have a few weeks left to embrace this. Do it now!

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