Unknown depression

In middle school I used to be chubby, in my stomach, thighs, face, everywhere. Used to smile all the time, I was soo energetic😂 Nd was truly a very socialable person. Then I started going through some stuff, it really messed with my mental. I got skinny, I didn't even see it until people started to mention it to me. -Lol I'm high key breaking down thru out this- I stopped associating with people for many reasons, I don't trust anybody at all, No1. - Well except for God, He holds me down and is reason why I believe everyday is great, maybe not the best, but I'm alive, I'm breathing, And Better Days Are Coming. Please keep that in mind😊🙏🏼 - I get so tired all the time, I'm lazy and can't even concentrate anymore. I used to be an A+ student. But even when I want to go to sleep, I can't unless I take that drozzy cough medicine or pills that set me sleep. I don't smile anymore, at all lol. It's just my face now, I've calmed down so much. I used to always hype everyone up, but now imthe one to calm them down. Point is, it's been let's say 2 years I've had depression, and I didn't even know it. That's crazy, right now, I'm at the point where I don't care if I die, if it's 'posed to happen I ain't forcing it, but I'm not going to force it myself, for everyone else, I know what typa grief that what cause for my Nana and Mama they'd kill themselves, or just die of a stroke or sum. Rn I'm just living for other people and it's annoying, but i keep in mind the Lord will let good come