I lost my peanut yesterday and I’m already so sick and tired of everyone telling me that it just wasn’t my time, or that I need to stay calm and stop crying. I lost the thing I loved most in the world. My heart hurts. I keep having this dream where I hear a voice that just keeps repeating “don’t worry mommy I still love you and I know you’ll always love me.” I don’t know when I’ll be okay or if I’ll ever be okay. I know it was still early in my pregnancy but I can’t help but think of all the things I’ve lost. Not just my baby but all the times we could have had.