anxiety helpp

so my boyfriend and I got into it I've had a depressive mood all week and I push him away I get sad then I take it out on him I'm trying and I feel I'm not trying hard enough. And he said I was annoying him new years eve I told him to eat while we were drinking and he snapped so I feel like it's my fault and I'm a shitty gf I sent him messages saying sorry I'm crying so much I just don't want to push him away I feel being more confidant will help both of us? no rude comments I am trying to get a hold of this he knows I have anxiety and depression